Attachment Parenting

Ever since I had my first child, I have been reading up on parenting. Trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. When Benjamin was still young, I became aware of a relatively *new* concept in child rearing and discipline. Some call it attachment parenting. Some call it instinctual parenting or gentle parenting.

It is a fairly simple and sensible approach to parenting. The basic concept is to listen to your child so that you can meet his or her physical, spiritual and emotional needs. When you meet these needs, your child will be able to trust and gain the confidence to become a secure, caring, responsible, and happy human being. It may seem new and "radical" to some, but the truth is it has been around for centuries.

Although each child is different, and this is certainly most important to acknowledge in successful parenting, there are certain things we can do which have been shown to benefit all children. This is what we do;

Take care while pregnant with excellent nutrition, avoiding pollution, harmful substances, emotional stress etc.

Bond with the baby in utero; Talk to your baby, sing to him, massage and caress your stomach etc., Studies have shown that babies as young as 8 weeks old respond and react to stimulus in the womb!

Have a gentle and natural childbirth; Drugs interfere with the normal progress of labor and birth and also effect the bonding period. Babies are born in such violence these days, and experts are starting to wonder if there is any correlation between these violent beginnings and the tendency to violence later in life. Some things you can do to ease baby's transition to being outside the womb are; have your baby room in with you, or better- have your baby at home, dim the lights, wait to cut the cord, delay weighing/measuring, breastfeed, hold baby skin to skin, no suctioning unless necessary, and no tests or poking. For a healthy infant most tests are in fact unnecessary.

Stay at home with your baby; Babies need to be with their mothers. Studies show the more time a child is in day care, especially if day care begins before the child is a year old, the less sensitive the mother becomes to her child's needs. Children who are put in daycare, especially before their first birthday, are significantly more aggressive and more physically and verbally abusive of adults, and their neurological development is impaired.

Breastfeed; Breastmilk is the only food which meets all your baby's nutritional needs. While breastfeeding your baby is also held close, and hormones help mother and baby feel relaxed and positive. There has been some discussion as to whether breastfeeding contributes to the love the mother feels towards her baby, because of the release of certain hormones such as oxytocin during breastfeeding.

Physical contact; Closeness is essential for optimal neurological development in infants. Slings can help with this as they allow a mother's arms to be free so she can go about doing her everyday chores.

Family bed; Several studies have shown that infants have less risk of SIDS when they sleep with their moms. It is a natural continuum from the security of the mother's womb to be cuddled and held close at night. Babies sleep better, and breastfeeding is much easier. You simply pull out your breast and you can easily snooze while baby is nursing.

Respond to your baby's cries right away; The only way small babies can communicate discomfort or a need is by crying. Professionals used to think that if you catered to your baby's every need you would spoil your child. Some people still leave their children in their cribs to cry themselves to sleep so that they can become "independent" and learn to soothe themselves, but those poor children only end up feeling unloved, lonely, frustrated, and rejected. The only message he gets is that he is not important enough for you to respond to him. Little children need to feel that they have some control or they will become insecure and depressed.

Our children need our undivided love and attention when they are young, so that they can become secure and independent when they are older, so don't be afraid to give your children love and attention freely. Follow your motherly inuition. It is there for a purpose.

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